Or: “Why 20 minutes worth of drawing takes me 3 hours”
Me: Okay, time to finish the strip! First I’ll finish lettering this caption. Crap, where’s my #1 Micron pen?
*searches for 5 minutes, finds micron under desk*
Me: Okay, lettering! B-A-R-T-E-N-D-E-R H-E-
Brain: WAIT! Are you SURE his name is Henry?
Me: Yeah. I mean, pretty sure.
Brain: So you don’t know.
Me: Fine, I’ll check my notes. Yep, bartender Henry.
Brain: Is it spelled with a “Y”? Maybe it’s “Henri.”
Me: What? No, that’s crazy.
Brain: Maybe he’s French.
Me: He’s not French.
Brain: Are you sure? Are you 100% positive that it’s “Henry-with-a-y”? Because if you’re wrong, he’ll get upset and call the editor, and you’ll have to issue a retraction, and then you can NEVER GO TO THAT BAR AGAIN.
Me: Fine, I’ll Google him.
*gets computer, visits bar’s website. Bartender’s name is not on it. Google several reviews of the bar, find enough that mention “Henry” the bartender/owner.*
Me: Okay, now back to – Fingers, what are you doing?
*Fingers automatically type web address of prolific Tumblr artist*
Me: No, we’re not looking at-
Brain: Oooooh, pretty!
*10 minutes of scrolling*
Me: Okay, that’s enough! Time to get back to work.
Brain: Nooooo! It’s 11:58! You have to wait until exactly 12:00 to start working again!
Brain: You just do! Wait two more minutes! Here, just click one more page.
*Seven pages later*
Me: Okay, time to work!
Brain: Noooo! Now it’s 12:06! Now you have to wait until 12:15!
Me: No! I’m going to work now!
*Returns to drafting table, finishes caption*
Stomach: Feed me!
Me: No, later.
Stomach: FEED ME! Or I will DIE!
Me: Okay, we’ll work for another 10 minutes, then I’ll get some food.
Stomach: FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME!
*Gets up, eats chips & salsa. Returns to drafting table*
Brain: Oh God, food coma! I cannot concentrate.
Brain: You should make some coffee!
Me: Oh, goddammit.
…and repeat for every caption or image in the strip.
(Inspired by John Scalzi.)