Bill vs. Inking

Or: “Why 20 minutes worth of drawing takes me 3 hours”

 

Me: Okay, time to finish the strip! First I’ll finish lettering this caption. Crap, where’s my #1 Micron pen?

*searches for 5 minutes, finds micron under desk*

Me: Okay, lettering! B-A-R-T-E-N-D-E-R H-E-

Brain: WAIT! Are you SURE his name is Henry?

Me: Yeah. I mean, pretty sure.

Brain: So you don’t know.

Me: Fine, I’ll check my notes. Yep, bartender Henry.

Brain: Is it spelled with a “Y”? Maybe it’s “Henri.”

Me:  What? No, that’s crazy.

Brain: Maybe he’s French.

Me: He’s not French.

Brain: Are you sure? Are you 100% positive that it’s “Henry-with-a-y”? Because if you’re wrong, he’ll get upset and call the editor, and you’ll have to issue a retraction, and then you can NEVER GO TO THAT BAR AGAIN.

Me: Fine, I’ll Google him.

*gets computer, visits bar’s website. Bartender’s name is not on it. Google several reviews of the bar, find enough that mention “Henry” the bartender/owner.*

Me: Okay, now back to – Fingers, what are you doing?

*Fingers automatically type web address of prolific Tumblr artist*

Fingers: Hee-hee!

Me: No, we’re not looking at-

Brain: Oooooh, pretty!

*10 minutes of scrolling*

Me: Okay, that’s enough! Time to get back to work.

Brain: Nooooo! It’s 11:58! You have to wait until exactly 12:00 to start working again!

Me: Why?

Brain: You just do! Wait two more minutes! Here, just click one more page.

*Seven pages later*

Me: Okay, time to work!

Brain: Noooo! Now it’s 12:06! Now you have to wait until 12:15!

Me: No! I’m going to work now!

*Returns to drafting table, finishes caption*

Stomach: Feed me!

Me: No, later.

Stomach: FEED ME!  Or I will DIE!

Me: Okay, we’ll work for another 10 minutes, then I’ll get some food.

Stomach: FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME! FEED ME!

Me: Fine!

*Gets up, eats chips & salsa. Returns to drafting table*

Brain: Oh God, food coma! I cannot concentrate.

Me: Seriously?

Brain: You should make some coffee!

Me: Oh, goddammit.

…and repeat for every caption or image in the strip.

(Inspired by John Scalzi.)

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One Response to Bill vs. Inking

  1. Juliana says:

    SO TRUE

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