The Rival (part 1 of 2)

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4 Responses to The Rival (part 1 of 2)

  1. emergentlifeform says:

    Do you actually think it is okay to out trans people without their consent to scare off the competition (or in any other circumstances, ever)? If not, why do you make comics that suggest that such behaviour is okay? Also, why do you make comics about being a chaser as if that was okay?

    • admin says:

      1) I think that outing trans people is poor form. But this was not a calculated attempt to drive him off – I honestly thought he knew, and only realized that I had outed someone when I saw his reaction. It did make me resolve to be more careful in the future.
      2) This is a journal comic – it’s an accurate record of my life, and this is what occurred that night. I considered adding a disclaimer under the comic, something like “Hey – don’t do this! Outing people is a bad idea” – but I decided to let the comic stand on its own.
      3) I make comics about my life, including my dating life. Some of the men I’m attracted to are transgender. I don’t think that makes me a “chaser”, but that’s probably not for me to judge. Either way, I don’t see anything wrong with dating trans guys, or with talking about it in my comics.

      • emergentlifeform says:

        I am a trans man who predominantly dates other men. I get that it’s a personal comic and you don’t want to self censor. I like it, actually, and I care because there is basically no (good) representation of gay/bi trans men out there.

        I found out about your comics because I saw one had been included in a comic anthology about bisexuality (specifically, I saw the one about how dating trans men didn’t make you straight). I liked the way you phrased it ‘some of the men I date are trans’, but I thought, why is a comic about a gay man who includes trans men in his dating pool being included in an anthology about bi/queer people, unless he & the publishers think dating trans people necessarily makes you bi/queer rather than gay or straight? Fair enough if you identify as queer rather than gay for other reasons (of which there are many). But I am uncomfortable with the implication that dating trans men necessarily makes an otherwise gay man bi or queer, as if we’re not ‘real’ men. It’s a trope I am seeing more and more from otherwise supposedly trans friendly people. So that was why I looked up your comic initially.

        Obviously, I think dating trans men is fine, otherwise I would be alone forever, so you know. But I think at the point where you fancy someone because they are/you think they are trans, rather than them just being a trans person who you find attractive, that’s when the scale begins to tip in the chaser direction.

        • admin says:

          Hey, emergentlifeform,

          I’ve finally posted the comic that I drew for the anthology “Anything That Loves” over here:, if you’d like to check it out.

          As it was explained to me (by the editor), the book isn’t about bisexuality per se, but about the borders between “gay” and “straight”, and how those categories get enforced. So my comic is about that enforcement – I don’t think that dating some trans men makes me straight, but there are people who do think that way – so I called it “Orientation Police.”

          Hope that makes sense.

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